To be With You to Lose You Again
by damned-angel14
Summary: Syaoran went back to Japan from Hong Kong. Sakura was angry with him. But, things will turn out differently when Syaoran reveals something that Sakura never imagined to happen.


Disclaimer: CCS and its characters are not mine… Only the story does.

**To Have You Back to Lose You Again**

"Sakura-chan! Matte!"

Sakura ran faster. Syaoran is already panting. "Whoa, she's so damn fast!" He mumbled under her breath. Sakura continued running. She did not notice that a large stone is on her way. She tripped on the stone. Syaoran ran faster to aid her. He caught his breath before kneeling beside her.

"Sakura-chan, daijoubu desu ka?"

She saw that her knee is bleeding. She moaned in pain. Syaoran got his handkerchief and used it as a bandage on her wounded knee. He held her hand.

"Why did you run away from me?"

Sakura stared at him. Her face is full of angst as she brushed his hand away brusquely.

"You're a liar!"

Syaoran was taken aback on what he heard from her.

"Why did you say that?"

"You promised that you will always be in my side. That you will never leave me."

Syaoran hung his head. He cannot stop the tears threatening to fall. Tears flowed in his cheeks.

"Gomen nasai, Sakura-chan."

Sakura's voice became a notch higher.

"Gomen nasai? All you can say is that? Syaoran-kun, it's been a year since you left me. I know that you are aware that I cannot bear to lose you by my side. You do not know how much you it affected me. It almost killed me."

Her voice is hushed but sadness mixed with anger is written on her face as she curled her fists. Sunset is taking place. The scenario is breathtaking. The beautiful hue of the sky will make anyone smile except for the two of them, as sadness fills them. Sakura continued pouring her emotions.

"I am just a call away, Syaoran-kun. You did not even call me once to tell me about how you are doing in Hong Kong. Not even once."

She pounded Syaoran's chest repeatedly. Syaoran did not mind the pain. After all, he caused her too much pain. This is bearable, he thought.

"I just don't want to tell you that..."

"Tell me what?"

Her voice is already inaudible. Syaoran could feel a lump in his throat. His voice quivered as he spoke.

"I have leukemia."

Sakura felt as if her world crumbled. She laughed but it was a humorless one.

"You're lying again."

Syaoran's tears continued to flow as he shook his head.

"I went to Hong Kong to arrange my papers so that I can stay here for good..."

He stared at Sakura's emerald eyes, which were full of tears.

"...to be with you. When I had a medical checkup, that's when... mmphhh..."

Sakura put her lips fully on his. She could taste the salty tears of Syaoran. She hugged him hard. He embraced her back. After a few minutes, Sakura unlocked her embrace. She stared at him.

"Onegai, don't continue."

Syaoran hugged her again. He whispered.

"I stayed for a year in Hong Kong to avoid you. I could not lie to you. Then, I realized I need you to be by my side on my last hours."

He cried again as he kissed Sakura on her forehead. He cuddled her. Darkness started to fill the surroundings. Sakura's sobs became louder.

"Shhhh, Sakura-chan. It hurts me when I see you cry."

Sakura suppressed her sobs.

"Syaoran-kun, I have you back... only to.. only to... lose you again."

Syaoran felt as if he is drowning in the green sea of Sakura's eyes. He wants to say more but he chose to be silent. He just sat on the ground while cuddling his beloved. Sakura spoke again after a long deafening silence.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I do not want to tell it to anyone. I want to live a normal life, just like before."

"Even me?"

"Especially you!"

Sakura cried hard as she buried her face on Syaoran's green polo. Syaoran's heart constricted as he stared at his koishii.

"Why don't you undergo chemotherapy?"

"It's too late. I'm already on the terminal stage."

Sakura buried her face deeper. Syaoran caressed her hair lovingly. He cuddled her closer as he whispered lovingly in her ear.

"I love you."

She looked at him, sadness completely written in her face. In between sobs, she whispered.

"I love you, Syaoran-kun."

_in the darkness of the night, _

_i hold you tight in my arms;_

_while the vast blanket of stars_

_shines brightly above us._

_as i hold you tight tonight,_

_i choke back my falling tears,_

_whispering to your ears,_

_"this night belongs to us"._

_before eos points her finger,_

_let me tell you my love tonight,_

_'coz tomorrow, this night will be_

_just a part of my sweet dreams._

Owari….

# the poem in italics are also made by me… you can read the whole poem in one of my fics in Slam Dunk… :))


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